being cool never tucked me in at night.

on my first day of fifth grade i wore a hot pink jersey-knit skirt with matching top and lace fringe. when i got to college i told all my friends that my mom was a homeopathist and i stopped going to church. last week i bought a shiny new mac and four pairs of skinny jeans. i then wrote an e-mail about this and used the thesaurus three times before sending it.

twenty years of research,and there's still nothing less cool than a girl who wants to be.